complete cycle

during our 2nd last gm last week, faith said something that left an impression on myself:
"we're humble of our achievements yet proud of our heritage..that's hwachong"

how true. i can't help but agree. after being with the hwa chong spirit generator/engine a.k.a. the students' council for one year, i too have come to this conclusion about hwachong. it's a warm place. really. and the school's really pretty at night despite all the spooky and creepy places in some parts of the college grounds.

TD. MAF. Open House. Senior Promenade. Orientation. CNY. Elections.

31st. fireworks. we had finally come one full cycle of making each major event a success. although some of our worksessions were really ineffective and sometimes merely a waste of time, it was certainly precious experience. every bit of it. looking back, i think i really wasn't really prepared for the demands of being a student councillor. i have toiled, laughed, cheered, danced, but i hope i had inspired. which i think i really lacked in this aspect. i didn't expect that as a councillor, my every move will be watced by many eyes. it was the experience of being a councillor that i truly understood the power of gossip, how it can build or break a person. also how gossip is sometimes undertaken to forge closer ties with others because it is an indication of trust of personal information. yet, the information we spread could be secret simply because it was meant to be one by the person of whom is the topic of discussion.

the entire council experience was one that strengthened my faith. planning MAF was a big test for myself. then, it was a bumpy road leading to the big night itself. it was always a decision of whether regaining my authority or ensuring that MAF goes on without a glitch was more important. i opted for the latter. rain was a very real threat then, besides all the safety issues, tea house sales, coordinating and entertaining the crowd and of course whether the grand light-up will turn out fine. if not for all these potential problems i think i wouldn't have grown so much faith in Him than without.

the Tahanners are departing for mount ophir today. boy, i sure missed tahan. i managed to wish them good luck and safety before they left the college grounds. being at tahan room just brings back fond memories...the excitement of conquering our second target after our first climb, and also that the ophir trip is our training hike before we take on gunung tahan(which i never had the chance to do it with my batch of tahanners). i recall eating supper at the mamak stall next to the ktm station at tanjong pagar with our seniors...such a big happy family. i won't forget the thrill of reaching the peak of mount ophir, and then the subsequent night-trek downhill (which was very dangerous although i loved it the best)

it's 20 days to stepping down and roughly 5 months to A levels. then comes prom. i wonder how i'll end my jc years in hwachong, and what i'll be doing next. the guys will mostly be going to NS and i'll probably be rushing my uni applications as i still cannot make up my mind as to what course to take and where to study.
i wonder what lies beyond for me.

balaclava

noun
1.A warm woolen hood covering the head and neck, worn especially by mountain climbers and skiers.
2.A similarly styled hood often covering the shoulders, as worn by soldiers and sailors or as protective clothing.

just came back from a chillout session with paul,elaine,chris,charles and des from music team. i LOVE their company. i guess musicians usually click well with one another? we were supposed to have a jam session in the cpa but sadly the school estate dept forgot to unlock the room. we decided to go to settler's cafe at holland village but in the end 'settled' at the coffee club as we couldn't find 'settler's cafe'. i tried this tiramisu mocha which was supposed to be laced with alcohol but i felt it wasn't fantastic in terms of blending of flavor. elaine showed me pictures of japan and her function in london and also of this restaurant bar called 'balaclava'. it has a really cool interior design, and i just thought that the name itself was cool enough. anyway, we were just chatting about how to improve as a band and i also got introduced to some interesting music courtesy of paul.

5th week of term 2 of jc 2 just ended. how sad. i'm still far behind in my revision. the only thing i sometimes do to encourage myself to push on is to tell myself that i'm gonna complete ALL my tutorials soon, ALL of them...but i've been chasing that target since the beginning of this year. when you think you've completed the assignments for one subject, there's another that you've probably overlooked. i told myself i'll write essays at least once a week, that idea is quite impossible given the amount of effort i put into completing my math n science tutorials.
5 weeks down, 5 more to go...that'll be the end of term 2.

every passing day i remind myself of the time that's remaining to pull myself up into the leading pack of the race. it's finally time to wake up, just like my mum told me. this goal is mine, and nobody's gonna stop me or distract me. to you who want to remain in dreamland, go ahead. play time's over for me...or at least your kind of play is destroying me. focus. prioritise.

every minute of the day seems so precious for me, especially those during the day because that's the only time i can really work. night time's reserved for rest. although i may feel mentally strong, sleep deprivation will make me physically weak - win-lose situation. library's my favorite hangout now, till i get too comfy with it then feel as though it's conducive to sleep. that'll just hint to me it's time to relocate! *sigh...i better plan ahead a list of alternative study locations for myself*

today was a short, boring day. double break before final tutorial lesson..helped eunice load up her econ s assignment. i was surprised to see that one of the monitors in the students' lounge a.k.a. Fishtank is out of service and nobody reported it. i just loitered around council room...memories start reappearing from my visual memory bank. the people the noise the jokes the pains the worries the design..the council. it is beginning to dawn upon me that really my journey as an 'active' councillor will end in a month's time. well, mrs ang said before that "once a councillor, always a councillor". i totally agree. maybe that's why i don't feel as down as some of the other 31st. it's just in me...this feeling that we'll still hold on together, no matter what. so no point feeling down and sad about stepping down. it'll mark another chapter for us, but the subsequent chapters will only be sad if and only if we make it so. we're going to be one year's old! to me it's something like moving out of infanthood...we have matured after 1 year of enduring each other's nonsense(which can prove to be of high entertainment value ^_^) and growing through learning and drawing strength from one another.

ELECO camp felt totally like deja vu; the cycle is repeating itself. anyway, i still enjoyed myself. i'll never forget the buddy interaction sessions with eunice, tiffany n hai ning; the sentry session with shinwei and 4 other juniors..all so happy. we had a briefing at 1am..can you imagine that? anyway, i managed to steal some time off before sentry to play the guitar, just to let my emotions flow a little. day2-3 was a really tiring one. we had PE, then scaffolding/knots/welfare training session, then we had campfire in the evening. really memorable. memories of me being where the elects were last year is still fresh in my mind. the passing of fireworks is just so sweet.

fireworks : let us shine, sparkle, light up your life

that's from our council song. the 'night session' with juniors was especially fun. i was quite amazed how we resorted to different measures trying to entertain ourselves when we're already so tired and hungry. prior to that, i had hands-on on table soccer with shiyang, kaizhi, ziyao, zi jian and tak. fun fun! ah...we only had one hour sleep then we gotta use whatever energy reserves we had to play sports with the juniors. pubco rox in captain's ball! the camp ended with talentime. the senior's item was committee spoofing. so pubco spoofed welco, which i think we didn't do a good job so i hope welco isn't so sad about it. ecaco spoofed us! and faith role-played me! quite funny, i was surprised at the things about me she brought up...some i didn't realise and some i didn't expect her to know. i was moved, i just smiled =) sometimes felt like crying but i don't express such feelings easily. we picked our mortals, hope my angel and mortal are responsive people!

i was just surfing the net tonight, reading up on information...then i bummed into something interesting, something close to my heart. i was impressed, so many things cropped up in my mind that i wanted to do, but then as i explored further, i was saddened. it hit me spot on. at that very moment, my mind was just jumbled, shocked. this question the surfaced:

why is it that we seek to know, when in knowing we will be hurt?

i'm not sure really why, i hope to understand it better. as for now, i'd rather be hurt than let curiosity kill me. dear special person, i'd like you to know that regardless of what you may think of me, you'll always have a special place in my heart. looking forward to weave more memories together with you.

popcorn thoughts

i've had this experience of thoughts and memories, shards and pieces everywhere, just popping up at random today.

i think it must've been started from a dream. it came so unexpectedly that i myself was caught aback by it. the dream reminded me of something i had almost forgotten in the short term, yet it struck my heart as the topic was really something i have always kept dear to my heart since it all started, 6 years ago.

yes. i dreamt of you. and that has brought back all the memories.

pisceans are known to be a dreamer. i think i fit perfectly into that description. i'm not a dreamer because i'm a piscean, but because i believe in the reality of dreams. they give you a direction, something you wish to possess or happen. yet sometimes, it merely ends up as a dream. the more you dream the more you tend to despair if it only remained a dream. easier said than done, we really can learn lessons about ourselves, our character, if we see beyond why we dream of the things we actually dream about.

popcorn. everything's happening all at once. there's this sad atmosphere developing within council for we know that our current lifestyle will have to change soon. or should i say, it's ending within a month's time. council elections reminded me how i dreamt of becoming a councillor even before stepping into jc. back then, i wasn't even sure if i'll be studying in which jc, but i was already convinced of the experience and friendship that council has to offer despite the hours of toiling under the sun and the moon and the stars. i was determined to fulfil 'this' dream, for i had failed to secure the the research projects that i had initially tried to obtain. many events failed one after another. i decided i'll still run for council even if i'm going to do it alone. i was inspired by my senior engtee, and he made me realise the advantages and disadvantages of running for council alone and as a group. initially, some girls from my class formed a group and there was no room for me to join them as they already hit the group limit of number of members. fine with me i thought, although i was the first to initiate the idea of going for it. luckily, thanks to my dear S6 dramafeste '04 friend, ann, i somehow ended up forming a group with karen and eunice - we called ourselves 'Just Sponge It' ( we drew inspiration from spongebob squarepants).

JAE results was announced during the march break, right after i completed my final hike with Tahan to Mt. Ophir a.k.a. Gunung Ledang. boy, i sure miss tahan. the type of bonding and encouragement you get there is very close to that of council, also having a string of seniors known as 'lau lau's (oldies) ok, the release of JAE led to my class losing about 10 of it's original members. *sigh* the council election group from my class was disbanded, the remaining member running for council joined another group but she didn't get in in the end anyway. till today i remembered very clearly how me n eunice stayed at karen's house till 10pm or so to finish our video the night before elections, how we managed to scrape through our then 'nominee's intro', our interactive posters bearing our faces and a sponge, us giving sweets to each S6 class, and QnA. i remembered every single question fired at me. i remembered the agony of waiting for the election results, and my outburst of joy upon receiving it. like popping of corn: it's uncontrollable.

if you've cooked popcorn or seen how it's done, you'll know that the corn 'pop's randomly. ( oh yeah, you can create orange-flavoured caramel by pounding grated orange zest with sugar and probably some vanilla, then pour it over the fresh hot popcorn so that it'll melt onto its surface ^-^ )

reminder: let go, let god

what kind of soul are you?

You Are a Peacemaker Soul

You strive to please others and compromise anyway you can. War or conflict bothers you, and you would do anything to keep the peace. You are a good mediator and a true negotiator. Sometimes you do too much, trying so hard to make people happy. While you keep the peace, you tend to be secretly judgmental. You lose respect for people who don't like to both give and take. On the flip side, you've got a graet sense of humor and wit. You're always dimplomatic and able to give good advice. Souls you are most compatible with: Warrior Soul, Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul